Bollywood is a tough place to survive and  Akshay Kumar had  to struggled for years before making to the big league. The past let go of him but he couldn’t do the same. In a recent interview the actor confessed that whenever he felt low, he just rewound to his past and revisited his days of struggle. That helps lift his spirits and makes him realise how much he has achieved. He said he was grateful for what he had achieved when compared to where he started from.

Dr Lata Hemchand, a Bengaluru based therapist feels that this is true in most cases. “You can revisit your past especially happy events in your life. If you have had a good holiday, a place where you have had an affirmation that you can face things or you got a good result out of doing something, these are memories worth revisiting. They definitely help revive the feeling again that you are worth it. In a way what Akshay is saying is right. Replacing your negativity with more positive thoughts from your past is a sure way of getting out of depression.”

Kannada actress Tara struggled for more than 10 years before she made it big. In her mind, the past is as fresh as the present. It makes her feel grounded and happy. “I have achieved what I set out to do after so much struggle. So obviously I will never forget my roots. It helps me stay grounded. But there are times when even that doesn’t work. Then I just sit in front of God and tell him my troubles. Prayer has always helped. When life has been a struggle you learn to cope with minor ups and downs. I don’t think my problems are even half as big as others.”

There is always retail therapy which works for some celebrities like model Nina Manuel. “I love to go shopping when I am low or even visit a spa. But sometimes just a simple hug from a loved one is a great way to lift your spirits.” Nina also believes that working out at the gym or pool makes a big difference to her mood.

This is prescribed by Dr Hemchand who says, “We know for sure that a certain amount of rigorous physical activity elevates your mind and mood. Anybody who is feeling low should get into some kind of physical activity rather than a mental one. Concentration is definitely difficult at a time when you are feeling low.” Actor Jackie Shroff though rubbishes all these claims.  He says he has tuned himself not to feel low. “I look around me and I am aware of homeless children on the streets and limbless beggars and that makes me realise that our problems are not at all significant compared to theirs. I thank God every time for what I have. I should be kicked if I wallow in self pity!”

Jackie also feels that revisiting his past makes him feel worse. “The past is depressing. It is where you’ve lost a loved one. Just thinking of it makes me feel in the dumps. So I would rather not. I just thank God for my great family, health and career!” So whether it is a humble past, some shopping or a prayer, our celebrities have their own mantra for de stressing and bouncing back to shape.

Couples who face even minor problems in marriage think it’s cool to have an affair and justify their decision by saying their partner doesn’t understand them. Instead of tackling the problem headlong, they seek recourse in the arms of another man/ woman. This further drives a wedge in their marriage besides turning the whole situation into a messy affair. The end result: Nobody is happy with their lives.

Dr Preeti Sethi, Lifestyle Therapist, New Delhi
This has become a new trend now. It happens when there is a serious breakdown in communication between a couple but instead of addressing the issue, they maintain a façade and go about their lives pretending everything is fine. In most cases, there is a lot of hidden resentment which stems from various unresolved issues. The couple must accept the fact they are not communicating enough with each other. They must try and get help from either an expert or a third party mediator who can objectively help them resolve a crisis.

The partner who is involved in extra-marital affair must immediately put an end to the relationship and make a concerted effort to save the mariage. Often couples tend to gravitate to online friendships with the opposite sex and soon that turns into a full-fledged affair which can ruin a marriage

Walls have ears at city restaurants

The next time you are out bonding with friends at a restaurant, beware that walls truly have ears. The other day three ladies — from a prominent business family and their Delhi based friend were having lunch at a star hotel where the three women were updating their Delhi pal with gossip about the city’s prominent people. Well, the ones who were being discussed in unflattering terms got to know about the conversation — as the waiters there overheard it all—and are disgusted with the trio.

Today is Preeti Reddy and Shikha Khanna’s birthday bash. Talking of parties, last week Vishwas Raju had a chilled out intimate do at his place. One of the guests wanted a Kamakazi shot so the host googled the recipe and made it in a jiffy. Now don’t be surprised if the laptop becomes a must-have bar accessory at homes.

Also, Vishwas’ party was the most talked about do. He invited only a handful of people, 10 to be precise, and all the other 100 guests who assumed they are part of everything Vishwas does were shocked at being omitted. They kept calling each other trying to find out who all were on Vishwas’ list.

So guys, the trick to a happening party is not to make it mass. Be selective with the guest list. Some people befriend and invite newspaper journos and their photographers too, as friends, hoping they’d get coverage. Now that’s as mass as one can get.

Amir and Hamida Sharma have become the most sought after interior designers in town. They are a hit with everyone from home owners to nightclub bosses. FCafe is done by them and they are doing the interiors for Touch too.Spotted them once in Delhi with Meena-Ramki of Karvy, shopping at Cresent mall. Looks like they are doing the interiors for their new home too .

On Tuesday Grill Room was buzzing with action as girl power was in full flow. In one corner the Alam Khan family ladies were bonding, at another corner was a Reddy kitty and lastly, Priyanka Reddy was celebrating her birthday. Since everyone knows everyone a lot of table swapping was taking place and interesting snippets like the various sizes and shapes men come in these days were being discussed!

These days Facebook alerts have become rather morbid. Five seconds after someone breathes their last friends put up “Say a prayer for XYZ” or “RIP XYZ”. Stick to updating your relationship status people, it’s far more interesting.

Who is actor Tarun dating? A local girl seen often at pubs. But why is Tarun keeping it a top secret?

What is Rajit Pillai’s fitness funda? He’s been looking very fit for the last few years.

When is Anit Reddy starting his lifestyle magazine? Looks like the publishing bug has bitten many Hyderabadis. Other magazines better watch out, news is he’s looking for editorial staff —  and the best place to poach is theirs.

Where is Mohan Alexander off to for a month? To the US.

Why did Sunil Khemani take a break from playing tennis — something that he’s been doing regularly for the last 18 years!

QThis is a teenager. I am in love with 28-year-old married man who doesn’t want to marry me although he says he loves me. He is strongly attracted to me but is not willing to commit and yet doesn’t want to end this relationship. He says he loves me deeply and keeps visiting me. He is so charming that I’m unable to let go. Please advise. 

Dear young lady,

You probably don’t realise that you are playing with fire and will end up burning your fingers. This is a very sleazy character who is simply taking you for a ride. He knows he has a hold over you and is taking advantage of you emotions. You can be sure that he will never marry you and is only having fun at your expense. He will keep making empty promises till he tires of you completely and finds a new interest. He appears to be someone with no values for if he can two-time his wife and have fun with you and yet feel no guilt, he is absolutely character-less. Please do yourself a big favour and dump him now before you find yourself completely heart-broken.  And, young lady, stay away from married men. There are plenty of single, eligible men around and you can take your pick instead of coveting another woman’s husband.  

Priyanka has outfit issues

The promos of Fashion are out, and the first look at the film has caused a major upheaval in Priyanka Chopra’s life and her designer’s too. Priyanka was just about garnering the praised heaped on her for her sultry look in Dostana promos when Fashion showed up. Industry and masses alike are going ga ga over Kangana Ranaut’s smoldering look in the film and timing couldn’t have been worse for Priyanka. Her last release Chamku has flopped and not much she can do for damage control when it comes to Fashion. What she did though was summoned her designer for the film to her office and gave him a piece of her mind. There were talks during the making of the film too that Priyanka was upset with the designer for giving Kangana preferential treatment. And looks like her worst fears have come true going by the first look of the film. Priyanka has vowed not to work with him again.

Farah promotes Amrita
Amrita Rao might be scoring some brownie points with her Main Hoon Na director Farah Khan, who is not very pleased with her OSO actress Deepika. It was at Farah’s behest that Amrita had done the item song with a bevy of beauties for Sajid Khan’s Heyy Babyy. And Sajid is now casting for his next film, and though most of the lead cast in his film is sorted out, he was looking for an actress to play a cameo role in the film. He had already been knocking on several doors to play that part, but none of the names he was aiming at was willing to take on the role. That’s when Farah came to his rescue once again and called up Amrita who instantly agreed to do the film without even asking for her role or the signing amount.  Farah is very happy with her erstwhile protégée and is singing praises of her to hubby Shirish Kunder who is looking for the lead for his upcoming film. One good deed calls for another, and Amrita might just actually reap the benefits of doing the cameo in Sajid’s film.